My name is Ying Shunchen. 38 years old this year. When the year of forty is approaching, it is inevitable that there will be a lot of emotion in my heart.
Looking back on the past few years, you will find that there will be many moments in your life that you thought were insignificant at the time, but they determine the direction of your life.
For example, my 25 years old.
When mentioning this number, my fans will definitely say happily: It was when Brother Chen was 25 years old that he won the title of the youngest actor with his masterpiece "Live".
I also think that my age of 25 is very important, but the matter of winning is secondary. After all, with my strength at the time, I could not win the award at the age of 25, and I will win the award one year later.
The most important thing this year is that I met my beloved Liang Wen.
Speaking of her, I actually saw her once when she was very young. But at that time she was still a baby, eating her fingers, spitting out small bubbles, her snow-white skin tempted me, I couldn't help poking her, and she cried immediately.
I remember this scene, but she naturally couldn't. Later we got married and talked about our first acquaintance. I said: I saw you when you were three months old. Wenwen said: If I said that I saw you for the first time in the international exit hall of the airport when you went abroad for further studies, would you believe me?
I laughed out loud, of course I didn't believe it.
My relationship with Wenwen was planted very early, even a few years before she was born.
Both my parents passed away in a car accident in the early years, and I was brought up by my grandfather.
When I was five years old, my grandfather heard that a teacher named Liang Yilin in the dance academy taught dance very well, so he asked someone to send me to Teacher Liang's house to let me learn dance from her.
It's rare for a boy to learn to dance, but the only time I ever smiled after my parents died was when I danced with someone on TV. So Grandpa thought maybe dancing would make me happier.
Teacher Liang was 28 years old and had just married a man named Zhan Qinghe.
Xu Shi was just married, and Teacher Liang was filled with happiness and warmth. Her gentle voice brought some light to my dark world. This comforts my lonely soul, which is darkened by the loss of my parents.
Mr. Liang usually takes classes in the dance academy and teaches me to dance at home in the evening.
Her husband seemed resentful of me taking up her off-get off work time. Of course, he didn't say it on the surface. But a child's heart is always sensitive and fragile, and he has already guessed a thing or two from his unhappy eyebrows. It was just that I was greedy for the warmth that Teacher Liang brought me, and pretended not to care.
Later, when I grew up, I thought about it, why Teacher Liang was willing to sacrifice time to teach me a child alone, probably because she learned about my tragic life experience from my grandfather, and her heart like a Bodhisattva felt sympathy for me, so That's why I was willing to insist on teaching me regardless of my husband's displeasure.
Looking back on the days at that time now, practicing basic skills was hard, but it was always harder than every night when I missed my parents. So I was able to persevere at such a young age.
In this way, I studied at Mr. Liang’s house for two years. One day, she patted my head and said, a director friend of hers was looking for young actors, and asked me if I would like to give it a try?
Although she had no children at the time, she knew how to respect a child's ideas.
I like her, so I naturally nodded and said I wanted to give it a try.
Actually, how did I know what a director was? What is an actor?
I followed Teacher Liang to meet her friend, an uncle named Luo Xiao.
Uncle Luo looked me up and down and said, "This kid has something on his mind."
It just so happens that in the movie "Surprise in the Liyuan" he is preparing, there is a child character, who is the younger brother of the hero, named Little Mute, and he is also a child with a lot of worries.
After all, how much sorrow can children have, isn't their label of innocence, cuteness and carefree? Except me, who was seven years old at the time.
Uncle Luo asked me to audition for a scene of saying goodbye to my brother.
I recalled sitting at home and being told by my grandpa that my parents would never come back. I didn’t cry, really not. Tears flowed silently from my eyes, falling to the ground one by one, and I was dumb.
So when I was auditioning, it was the same. In Uncle Luo's comment: "This child has unique insights into the feelings of parting at such a young age."
Where do I have any unique insights. I have experienced great sorrow in the world, so I naturally understand it.
I successfully auditioned once and officially entered the group.
At that time, I thought it was just a special experience where the filming time was only ten days. Who knew that I would enter the industry from this point and act for a lifetime.
And I became popular because I played the little mute, and was praised by insiders as the most anticipated future star.
I also found that, in addition to dancing to ease my pain, acting could do the same.
I am immersed in other people's lives, no matter whether it is happy, bitter, sweet or sour, no matter what it tastes like, I don't seem to need to think of my own pain.
This is also very good. So I fell in love with acting.
You know, for a child, he can't say something that will kill him to his grandfather, he must have an outlet. Dancing and acting are my outlets.
These two items were found by Mr. Liang for me.
Therefore, she is my guide and my benefactor.
It's a pity that when I came back from the filming, I learned that she was pregnant, so I knew I couldn't bother her anymore.
Grandpa found other teachers in the dance academy for me to teach me how to practice dancing. Although I don't like it, I don't want to hurt grandpa's heart, so I can only be obedient.
During Mrs. Liang's pregnancy, I visited once with my grandfather, and I visited four or five times by myself. Grandpa brought a lot of nutrition to the teacher, and the face of the teacher's husband, Zhan Qinghe, looked much better.
However, when the teacher gave birth to a girl, his face became ugly again.
When my grandfather asked me to give a heavy golden lock to Mr. Liang, Zhan Qinghe took it away, saying that it was only a thousand gold locks, which could not hold up to such a precious thing.
I clearly saw the red thread in Teacher Liang's eyes and the sadness that couldn't be concealed.
At that time, Wenwen was tightly hugged by Teacher Liang, and I only saw the back of her round head, but not her face.
It's just that this child is destined not to be loved by his father, and I pushed it to myself, so I felt overwhelmed and went to see Teacher Liang again after a few days.
However, she moved, and Zhan Qinghe said that she lived in the dormitory of the school.
I glared at him resentfully. No need for him to say more, I know that this man must have driven away his wife and daughter ruthlessly.
Zhan Qinghe snorted coldly, "I gave birth to a loser, what are they doing?"
I asked him for the golden lock from his grandfather. Zhan Qinghe immediately said with a cold face that he didn't take it.
It's a pity that I was young and couldn't beat him, so I had to go to the dance academy dormitory to find Teacher Liang.
When I got to the school gate, my grandfather sent someone to take me home. The film crew came to pick me up to the set.
After three months like this, I finally saw Mr. Liang who looked haggard and Liang Wen who laughed whenever he saw me.
The mother and daughter lived in the narrow dormitory of the school, which seemed very cramped.
As usual, she patted my head and said with a smile: "Chenchen, the teacher is very nice. You have to study and act at the same time..."
She didn't finish her sentence, but I understood it.
She told me not to miss her, not to worry about her, and not to come to her easily.
I glanced at the little figure lying on the cot.
Her eyes are big and bright. I never knew that a baby of three or four months could be as beautiful as her. She is so cute that a person like me who never likes to touch others couldn't help poking her. little face.
As a result, the little man who was smiling at me curled his lips and began to cry.
My heart is about to melt, a good-looking person is so pretty that she can even cry.
Teacher Liang hurried forward to pick up the little person, coaxing her with pity, "Don't cry, don't cry. Brother likes you..."
I quickly squeezed out a smile, expressing that I really like this little person who cries when poked.
However, when I walked out of the dormitory, I saw Zhan Qinghe walking towards me from a distance.
I hid in the dark and watched him walk into the dormitory.
I followed, and when I reached the corner on the third floor, I heard roars from a room inside, mixed with the sharp cry of the little man.
"divorce!"
"I can't live with you all day. Divorce immediately!"
"The house, car and money are all mine. You take her out of the house. Otherwise, I will come to school every day to trouble you."
From the beginning to the end, I didn't hear any echo from Mr. Liang.
Later, I came to the school to look for her, and someone told me that she had resigned and moved out of the dormitory. I don't know where she went.
As if I lost my soul, I ran to her original home, only to knock on the door and see another woman.
With a cold face, she asked me who I was looking for.
I blinked my eyes, suddenly understood something, and returned home without looking back.
When my parents were still alive, everyone said that I was born in Ying's family with a golden key in my mouth, and that I was blessed, but since they are gone, I have become the poorest child in the world.
I finally found warmth in Teacher Liang, but she also became a poor person abandoned by her husband.
How can I go to her again and get warmth again?
I became so withdrawn that Grandpa thought I was suffering from depression.
I saw a doctor and took some medicine. The doctor advised me not to give up if I have any interest. After all, if there's anything else in the world that makes you happy, you're less likely to want to die.
I still don't understand why I didn't go to see Teacher Liang and meet her, even if I didn't do anything, just talk.
But for so many years from the age of eight to 25, I have never looked for her, even when I often think of her teaching me hand in hand when dancing.
I even thought that I was too selfish, only willing to absorb warmth, but unwilling to give warmth.
When Teacher Liang also became a poor person in other people's mouth, she became as lonely as me.
Until I was 25 years old, my grandfather suddenly asked me one day: "Do you still remember that when you were young, you learned dance from a teacher named Wei?"
I froze for a moment, but the memory rushed to my heart like a tide.
How can I forget? For so many years, I made up a story for myself that Mr. Liang had a good life.
Her husband and wife are harmonious, they are not divorced, and they gave birth to a very beautiful and well-behaved daughter, whom everyone in the family likes.
However, my grandfather's words woke me up like cold water: "Teacher Liang had a car accident two days ago, and the funeral will be held at the funeral home tomorrow. I will go with you to see you off."
There has been no news of her for so many years, and the sudden news is this kind of parting of life and death.
My heart suddenly fell to the bottom.
In the funeral parlor, there was no one there except Liang Wen, who was only 18 years old at the time.
She was dressed in black, with a small white flower on her hair, her nose was red from crying, and she was kneeling before the coffin, sobbing.
Xu Shi didn't expect that someone would come to see her mother off. When she heard the footsteps of my grandfather and me, she raised her head suddenly, her face full of shock.
Her colorless lips trembled, helpless and pitiful.
Grandpa and I bowed to Teacher Liang's photo respectively, and then grandpa walked up to Liang Wen and told about the relationship between her mother and me.
Grandpa doesn't shed tears easily, but he shed tears in front of Liang Wen.
He said tremblingly, "Good boy! Let grandpa hug you."
Liang Wen bit her lip and got up and threw herself into Grandpa's arms, crying loudly.
Think of her as a young girl who has just grown up, and there is no one around to help when she encounters a disaster.
Teacher Liang, who has a strong personality, has broken off his relationship with friends and relatives for so many years, and finally no one came to see him off for the last time.
If Grandpa's former subordinates hadn't told him about Mr. Liang, maybe even we wouldn't have known about it.
Later I found out that Liang Wen called her father, Zhan Qinghe, but the other party didn't answer the phone at all.
She also called a relative whom Mr. Liang never mentioned, and the other party said that it was not convenient to come because of the long distance.
So she was quite emotional when she saw me and grandpa at the funeral home.
It took a long time to cry in Grandpa's arms before he recovered.
When Grandpa introduced me to her, I managed to force a smile at her.
This girl was really a girl at the time, and she yelled at me timidly, "Hi, uncle."
The author has something to say: Thank you for the little angel who voted for me or irrigated the nutrient solution~
Thanks to the little angels who voted [Mine]: obviously 5;
Thanks to the little angels who irrigate [nutrient solution]:
Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!