I have to admit, I'm craving...
I was longing for a kiss at the entrance of the corridor that day, and I was longing to be close to him, even if I knew it was wrong, even if his kiss fascinated me, the longing in my heart could not deceive anyone.
It is precisely because of this desire that my heart is gradually filled with despair. How can I fall in love with a man?
I am the only son of the Ban family, I am the future heir of the Ban family, and most importantly, I am a man!
When I hypnotized myself and forced him to push him out of my mind, I started to stay by Hang Jing's side all the time, trying to divert my attention.
But I found out in despair that no matter who I face, when I open and close my eyes, it is him!
I'm really into him, the guy I've been my brother for seven years...
For the first time, I felt the taste of fear, and more, I felt sorry for myself. Even if I really like it, this relationship is doomed to end without a problem. In order to get rid of it as soon as possible, I desperately dated Hang Jing and told Hang Jing that I Love words that I would never say in the past.
I wanted to forget him in this way, but every time I came back at night, he stood in front of the high French window, looking down at me.
Those eyes actually made me feel an inexplicable guilty conscience, like a husband whose heart was beating when he was discovered cheating.
I clearly wanted to escape and stay away from him, but Gong Yuding's visit made me angry. How could this person approach him so recklessly!
Isn't Gong Yuding afraid of the eyes of the world, not afraid of other people's gossip? Could it be that because of Gong Yuding's behavior, he should be burdened with all kinds of infamy?
I thought I was on the side of justice, I thought I was protecting him.
But when I saw that Mother Hang had no objection, and wanted to match Gong Yuding and him, I suddenly felt that something in my heart was forcibly taken away!
When Gong Yuding said that he and I would become a family in the future, the pictures of me and Hang Jing, Gong Yuding and him were in my mind, and my heart suddenly felt a tearing feeling, **** pain!
Gong Yuding actually won the favor of Hang's mother. Hang's mother invited Gong Yuding to stay and eat, but what she said was that she wanted Gong Yuding to take care of him and be with him in the future. I felt inexplicably Flustered, I wish I could throw this man out of Hang's house.
He is obviously mine, how can I let others peep?
When Gong Yuding went to his room, that familiar scene made my anger finally reach its peak.
I remembered what he said that day.
The thing he did, that meaningful kiss.
That joke, you like it.
Finally, I couldn't sit still anymore, I rushed up and pushed his room away, seeing the two of them in the room, I suddenly had the illusion of catching my wife and rape, but I lost a kind of right.
There seems to be a secret between Gong Yuding and him that I don't know. After they saw me coming in, they didn't say anything. Who exactly?
Gong Yuding finally left under my watchful eyes. I didn't know their secret from the beginning to the end. The feeling of aggrieved made me throw all my anger on him.
But he berated me for interfering with him and asked me if I was jealous.
When the truth is not exposed, I can maintain my anger, and I can teach him from the highest point, but this layer of fig leaf is torn by him, and I don't know what to do.
I can't say that I started to have him in my heart, I can't say that I'm thinking about him all the time now, I can't say that I'm really jealous in my heart, I can't question him whether he cares about the relationship between Gong Yuding and me Who, I can't do anything, I can only run away, run away.
I really can't guess what he's thinking, Gong Yuding has given me enough headaches, but Yingying Yanyan beside him makes me feel even more uneasy.
It seems that there will always be women around him, he is no longer refusing, he actually smiles at others, and there are many more people in his eyes...
When I couldn't control my emotions, I took him away from the woman's nest.
But he said, if men can't do it, why can't women? He told me verbatim what I said, he chose to carry on the family line and obeyed my wishes.
I have to admit, he was really bad.
When he said these words, I felt my whole body was hollowed out, my nose was sore, and I almost couldn't control the tears that were about to fall.
The questioning I thought I should have turned into a joke.
He is right, he should pass on the family line, he should be with women, I have no right to interfere, yes, I have no right.
The cousin said that I had changed, became taciturn, and became unwilling to communicate with others. She asked me what happened, and said that Hang Jing had looked for me many times, why I didn't want to see him.
I asked my cousin why she let him go so quickly.
But my cousin told me that she never put it down. Love is such a wonderful thing. It is easy to pick it up. When I put it down, it is almost like cutting a piece of meat from the heart. With him by his side, pain can also be healed.
I can't help but envy my cousin, at least my cousin can express her love for him, but I can only stop in my heart.
I decided to have a good talk with him again, maybe we should clarify the matter, and then we put everything away from each other, I go abroad, leave this troubled city, time will eventually dilute everything, I will get married and have children abroad, I will Live a normal life, and he, too.
I searched for him in school for a long time before I found out that he and Gong Yuding had left.
I don't know how long I have been around the school, I finally found them, but what did I see? He stroked Gong Yuding's cheek lightly, Gong Yuding closed his eyes, the distance between the two of them was so close, so close, as if they would kiss each other in the next second.
Before I had time to think in my mind, my body had already rushed over and punched Gong Yuding away.
I actually felt an inexplicable sense of betrayal. We fought together, and neither of us showed mercy. Every punch seemed to be exhausted.
Gong Yuding's liking drove me crazy, I tried my best to suppress my heart, why can this person like him so openly?
I attacked crazily, I want Gong Yuding to say that I don't like him, I want Gong Yuding to beg for mercy, let him see clearly, this man is not a good thing!
But Gong Yuding's words made me fall into incomparable despair.
"I can't be with him, but you, Ban Hanyi, are even more unworthy! Can you accept him as a man, can you give up everything for him?"
can i
When Gong Yuding pushed me away and left this alley, my mind was still blank.
Give up everything to be with him?
Can I?
I can't seem to...
But can I watch him live happily with others?
The answer is definitely not!
I was lying on the ground, looking at the sky, his wedding ceremony seemed to be held in the sky blue sky, his smile bloomed in front of Gong Yuding, the two kissed in foreign churches, accepting everyone's blessings, They adopted a child, and the family of three enjoyed themselves happily. In the end, he only had Gong Yuding in his eyes.
Even if I appear in front of him, even if I stand at the wedding scene, he will never see me again.
That feeling made me terrified, and I wanted to escape, but at this moment, I got up and asked him with difficulty if he was really with Gong Yuding.
He doesn't answer me.
He is no longer a smiling face to me, his brows are wrinkled, and he seems very dissatisfied with my question.
How could he be dissatisfied, he said he loved me, he clearly said he loved me, how could he give his heart to someone else in less than half a year? How could he do this!
I kissed him for the first time, and it was also the first time I kissed someone actively.
I hugged him tightly and deepened the kiss fiercely. He didn't respond to me and let me invade.
The fear, distress, and despair in my heart made me unable to control my emotions anymore. I hugged him and cried loudly, trying to release all the despair in my heart.
I am willing to give up everything for him, even if he is a man, I am willing to accept him.
He asked me if I would regret it.
I told him seriously, no regrets.
I have made all the preparations, even if the world doesn't allow us to be together, even if the world's spittle will drown us, even if we can never live in the sun, I will never regret it.