But I am a monk, I have no right to be jealous, and I am not qualified to be jealous. I am hiding in the meditation room. I don’t want to see the lights and festoons outside, and I don’t want to see the happy faces of those palace people. ?
I didn't expect that what made me really realize the pain was that she used to only have me in her eyes, but when I stood in front of her, she could no longer see me.
On the day of my wedding, I was sitting on the bed, forgetting about morning classes and cleaning up, and I only had one thought in my mind, that she was going to marry a husband...
Unexpectedly, she stood in front of me pretty and invited me to her wedding, but I directly refused.
But she was forcibly pulled away by her. She was still so unreasonable and domineering.
But I discovered that the protagonist of the wedding was not her.
At that moment, I was ecstatic and realized that I was so unwilling for her to marry someone else.
She personally sent me back to the meditation room, I looked at her leaving figure, and thought, it's so good.
But I didn't want her to come to me the next day and ask me to return to vulgarity, and I flinched again. She gave me two days to think about it.
I was a little hesitant, as if there were two people talking in my body, one told me to give up the rules and discipline, and be with her for the rest of my life, and the other said, how can I live up to Master's life-saving grace and nurturing affection.
Two days later.
I still refused her, but she just looked at me lightly and allowed me to leave the palace.
I was hesitant for a while, but I agreed. It’s okay to leave. I don’t want to travel around the world anymore. I want to go back to the mountain and never come down. Let this moved heart be buried on the mountain forever.
I was sent out of the palace overnight.
Along the way, Shizi and the male slave didn't say anything, once we arrived at the place, those who escorted us left immediately, and Shizi also left immediately.
The male slave sat at the door without saying a word.
Early in the morning, when I was reciting scriptures, I heard the crying of the male slave. I wanted to comfort me, but instead I was angrily reprimanded by the male slave.
It turned out that she had been protecting me. It turned out that she just let me leave her side because she felt that there was no way to protect me anymore. It turned out that everything she did was only for me.
At that moment, I felt a heavy punch in the chest, poisonous fire hit my heart, and the taste of rust came from my mouth.
she will not die.
She is the king of Fenglai Kingdom.
She once said that there is nothing in this world that she can't live with.
She once said that she wanted to be with me forever, how could she die so early! My eyes were red, I rode on the carriage, and rushed to the direction of the palace, no matter how the male slave shouted behind me, I couldn't stop my heart from looking for her.
Her ears are full of words she once said.
The scenes of getting along with her this year frantically popped up in my mind.
"Zhu Li said that turning back is the shore, but Gu wants to ask, what is the shore? You know that the world is false and real, and Buddhism has a saying that all four things are empty. Shore, isn't it empty?"
"There is a saying in Buddhism that all living beings love. Why do you love all living beings, but you don't love alone?"
"In Zhu Li's eyes, Gu is a man-eating tiger? A beast? Why does Zhu Li hide from me like a snake? Isn't Gu not good-looking? Can't get into Zhu Li's eyes?"
"Zhu Li, you reject Gu again and again, you say you have great love in your body, you say you want to save all living beings, and let all living beings escape the sea of suffering, you keep saying that Gu is the same as all living beings, and there is nothing special in your eyes! Then why don't you save Gu? Why don't you let Gu get out of the sea of suffering? Why don't you ever think about saving Gu? But let Gu suffer in this world."
"Zhu Li, it's been more than a month, and you still can't get rid of your loneliness, what should you do?"
"A few days ago, I heard that Zhu Li didn't have any sachets. Gu specially sent them to Zhu Li."
"Zhu Li, I ask you alone, if you really feel that everything is empty, why is there no way for you to ignore a sachet?"
"Zhu Li, are you lying to yourself? If you really don't have the sachet in your heart, why burn it? You once said that you want to save the orphan and let him escape from this sea of suffering. Let all living beings be liberated, but Zhu Li, what is liberation? Don’t you and I live in this sea of suffering? Buddha, is it really the end of the sea of suffering? Liberation, is it really an escape into Buddhism?”
"You are pitiful, Zhu Li, why are you not pitiful? You have never tasted the ups and downs of the world. You have been instilled with Buddhist beliefs since you were a child. Is the freedom you think you are really free? You want to save Gu, why doesn't Gu want to redeem you!"
"If, Gu just said if, if Gu is willing to let go of the entire Fenglai country, the Liming people of Fenglai country, and Gu's supremacy, are you willing to let go of the precepts and rules, grow long hair, return to vulgarity and leave this lonely place?" In a prosperous place, find a lonely place where we can be together justifiably, no matter how many people there are in the world, just you and me?"
"Tonight, Gu will send someone to send you away. From today onwards, you will not be allowed to step into Fenglai Country again!"
It turned out that the tenderness in those eyes last night was a farewell!
At that moment, there was only one thought in my mind.
Even if it is death.
I want to die with her too!
The horse ran to the imperial city.
Originally noisy street.
Now there is no one, and the items on the street are scattered.
My heart is tight, and I want to tell her that what she said is right, if the heart is really empty, why should I escape, why should I warn myself again and again.
What she said is right, the world is emptiness and reality, Buddhists say that the four elements are all empty, and if you turn around and see the shore, it is also empty.
She was right, I was not indifferent when I saw the sachet that day, otherwise I wouldn't have burned the sachet she made herself.
When the horse rushed into the palace.
What came to the face was a smell of blood, and what the eyes saw were corpses everywhere.
My heart suddenly tightened.
She can't die, she must not die!
I haven't told her personally that she is not a scourge or a poisonous scorpion. She is beautiful, the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life, and she has already caught my eyes.
I was lying to myself and my heart, but in fact this heart has already fallen.
However, the closer you get to the palace.
There are more and more dead bodies of guards in the palace.
My heart was getting colder and colder, the horse didn't want to go forward anymore, I jumped off the horse, stumbling forward and rushed forward, but what I saw was the entire palace surrounded by foreign soldiers and horses.
At that moment, my heart was ashamed...
I rushed forward like an empty shell.
she died?
How can she die...
Everyone gave me a way, I fell heavily on the hall, I desperately got up and walked inside, I will accompany you, it doesn't matter, I will accompany you to death, I thought they would pierce me with a long sword body, but I didn't feel any pain.
In the main hall, corpses piled up into mountains.
I knelt in front of the mountain of corpses, and tremblingly picked up the blood-stained long sword. If there is an afterlife, even if the Tathagata is alive, I will definitely not let you down.
The moment the long sword was wiped against the neck.
The crown prince blocked the long sword, "Your Majesty is not dead."
I have never been so happy at that moment. She didn't die. It was the best news I heard in my life. I ignored Xie Shizi and rushed to the meditation room where I stayed for a year. There was only one in my mind. Thoughts, I want to tell her, my heart.
Pushing away from the meditation room, I saw her covered in blood, I hugged her and offered my kiss.
I love her, yes I love her!
But she passed out in my arms, I watched Shi Qing rush away with her, and I followed closely behind.
Seeing her lying on the bed, the imperial doctor busy back and forth, my heart raised my throat, and I prayed in my heart, even if he had 40 years left to live, he would be willing to spend 30 years in exchange for her to live, allowing him Selfishly staying for ten years, wanting to be by her side.
She survived.
I immediately announced that I was going back to vulgar life and married her.
That day she put on a red dress and waited for me at the top of the steps. She said I was beautiful, but I said, she is the most beautiful person I have ever seen in this life.
She handed over the country to others, and lived in seclusion in the mountains with me.
She said she only wants me in this life.
Me too!