Because it is not a special festival, there are very few people who come to worship in the cemetery. Su Aobai shaved his green skin and wore clothes that are not suitable for this season. It looks a bit weird, and the grave guards can't help but look at it He glanced.
There are very few people here on weekdays. The tomb guard can be sure that he has never seen the man in front of him.
I took three buses and spent 6 yuan. At this moment, Su Aobai still has 194 yuan left in his pocket. There are also people doing business outside the cemetery. Some sell flowers and sacrifices. Some places are more expensive.
Su Aobai took out the money in his pocket, looked at the Zhengyan flowers on the cart, and finally bought a lily plant and a catty of local strawberries. These things alone cost him forty-seven yuan money.
He and Ji Xing ate strawberries for the first time when they were seven years old. A rich lady came to visit them in the orphanage. The lady bought ten strawberry cakes, and each child in the orphanage was given a small piece.
Because the two of them are relatively well-behaved, when cutting the cake, Auntie Baoyu eccentrically gave them a piece of cake with whole strawberries on it.
From that day on, Ji Xing firmly believes that strawberries are the most delicious fruit in the world.
The economy in the orphanage is not rich, and the fruits purchased have always been relatively cheap apples, bananas, and oranges. When they left the orphanage, the prices were far from as high as they are now. Jin, but relatively, he earns less money.
Ji Xing always spends money carefully, and when he is really hungry, he buys cheap strawberries that don't look good.
She always said that strawberries are not suitable for storage, and they will be crushed after only one day after picking, but this level of damage does not affect its taste, but the price can be several dollars cheaper than freshly picked ones.
But even if it was such a strawberry, she was reluctant to buy too many. Under the boss's white eyes, she carefully selected a dozen or so, and then holding the bag containing the few strawberries, she happily took his hand and said that she is really So happy.
fool!
Su Aobai told himself over and over again in his heart that this was someone else's life, he didn't need to be so sad, but he couldn't do it.
This kind of pain that was so sad that he couldn't breathe, his heart seemed to be torn apart, the closer he got to Ji Xing's tombstone, the more he couldn't restrain it.
This kind of emotion was so turbulent that Su Aobai even felt that this was his life.
In the previous worlds, the original bodies were all scumbags with more or less problems, and they had to blame themselves for the process of gaining or losing, but this life is different, the way of losing is too tragic, obviously they are so happy, but Life is to tear him to shreds when you are running towards the good.
"Is this really not my life?"
This was not the first time Su Aobai had similar thoughts, but this time the feeling was particularly strong.
Or, after inheriting the memory and emotions of the original body, did he really completely assume this identity?
Unfortunately, the system did not appear to give him an answer.
The layout of the cemetery has not changed in any way. Su Aobai found Ji Xing's tombstone accurately. It can be seen that there are occasional people here to clean it. The photos on the tombstone are only slightly faded due to long-term sun and rain. It was wiped very clean, and there were two plates in front of it, which contained some biscuits and dried dates.
Su Aobai thought of Ji's mother, she might occasionally bring that child to worship.
Would she be happy to see that child?
Su Aobai looked at those sacrifices in a daze...
if... suppose if...
If at that time, they weren't so panicked, if they could understand some common sense, take contraceptive pills immediately after that incident, to prevent the possibility of pregnancy, if they didn't go through that difficult time in a daze, they could pay more attention Physical changes, discovering her existence before the child is old enough to induce labor, and knocking her out, everything will be different.
She is still alive, and those embarrassing and painful memories will eventually be gradually forgotten in mutual comfort, and they can live a happy life.
It's a pity that there is no if!
During her pregnancy, Ji Xing was in a very bad mood. She often looked at her growing belly in a daze, and would cry silently. He understood what she was thinking.
The word mother is too heavy for a child like Ji Xing who was abandoned since childhood. It has always been her dream to be a competent mother. She wants to be a mother who is completely different from her irresponsible parents. She will love her child and raise her to be a good person.
But the reality is often unsatisfactory. Can she love this child? Can she take on motherhood to this child?
She felt that she might not be able to do it, which is why it was so painful.
She didn't reconcile with herself until the time before giving birth. She began to discuss with him which brand of diapers to buy, whether it would be more cost-effective to cut urine rings from old clothes, and discussed buying quilts for babies. Tall baby clothes.
Because the birth of this child is already a doomed thing.
So a few days before the due date, she solemnly told him the following passage—
"I was abandoned at the gate of the orphanage since I was a child. I don't know what kind of people my parents are. The reason why they abandoned me is also because I came because of some dishonorable and unhappy things? I resent They, but in their hearts, perhaps losing me is actually a correct relief."
Compared with a child like Yuan Shen who was placed in a welfare institution because his parents died and his relatives refused to support him, a child like Ji Xing who was abandoned at birth often caused people to have a lot of speculation.
Her parents might abandon her because she is a girl; maybe her mother is just a little girl who has tasted the forbidden fruit and can't even figure out the father of the child; she may even be the product of a woman being raped/violent, so Getting lost is a natural thing...
Similar remarks often appear in their ears. Sometimes, it is just that the classmates around them subconsciously relay what their parents have said in their ears.
Orphans, they must have bad genes!
Orphans, there must be something wrong with their personalities!
Orphan, don't play with such people in the future!
Because of such remarks, they dare not make mistakes more than their classmates. In school, they obediently listen to the teacher, and most of them choose to endure when they are bullied by their classmates. It is because of their status, orphans, and because of this status, some of their mistakes It will be unintentionally magnified, because they are orphans, so their mistakes are due to lack of tutoring, and the poor genes left to them by their biological parents are at work...
"If I give birth to her and lose her, will she become the next season star?"
Her heart softened, so since she was born, she might not be able to love her that much, so try to treat her as an ordinary child.
At that time, as long as Ji Xing could pull himself together, no matter what she decided, Yuan Bo would not object.
But fate just likes to joke with people. A few days ago, the girl who was still firmly saying that she was willing to work hard to fulfill her responsibility as a mother, had turned into a dead body that could not breathe when she was pushed out of the delivery room again.
Before giving birth, he jokingly said that if he had a difficult delivery, he hoped that he could live a good life, and it turned out to be a reality.
"Sorry, I didn't do what I promised you."
Su Aobai poured the offerings from the original plate into a bag, and then placed the lilies and big red fresh strawberries he just bought on the empty plate.
He touched the photo on the tombstone. The girl in the photo smiled very sweetly, her eyes were clear, and there seemed to be his shadow in her pupils.
He couldn't live a good life, and he couldn't be a responsible father.
On this day, Su Aobai never left the cemetery.
*****
It was three days after Ji's mother saw Su Aobai after he was released from prison. During this period, she couldn't wait for Su Aobai to come to the door, she thought he didn't want Yixing as a daughter anymore.
"haven't seen you for a long time."
Seeing the man sitting across from him, Dean Ji was also in a daze.
He is very different from nine years ago. At that time, he still looked a little childish when he was under 18 years old. Even though the wind and rain on the construction site made his skin dark and rough, his face could be seen at a glance. It can be seen that he was still a half-grown child, and no one would have thought that he was already a father at that time.
Nine years have passed, his facial features have fully grown, and the outline of his face has become more and more obvious, with the fortitude of an adult, the deep lines on his brows, and his eyes that are silent like a pool of stagnant water, even made him a little more than that. Old and tired at this age.
It's not like a man who is less than thirty years old and is in the golden stage of life, but more like an old man who is dying.
After all, he was the child he had brought up, and Dean Ji couldn't help but reflect on whether he was too harsh on him for ignoring him during these nine years.
But with Su Aobai like this, she really couldn't bear to hand over that child Yixing to him.
"I came back this time to hope that the dean can continue to take care of the child. After that, I will pay a living allowance every month. This request may be too much, but Mother Ji, I really can't face the child who died at birth. own mother's child."
Su Ao said with a dull face, and then he took out five hundred dollars from his pocket.
This is the money he earned from working on the construction site for the past few days. Because of his criminal record, many construction sites were unwilling to accept him. After finally finding a contractor who was willing to accept him, he also pressed down on his salary.
For Su Aobai, who is now penniless and has just been released from prison, there are not many choices. Although the work on the construction site is hard, it is relatively the fastest way to earn money that he can reasonably find in a short period of time. Work.
"Do you know what you're talking about!"
Dean Ji stood up angrily. How could he blame that child for Ji Xing's death? The child is innocent, and he, the father who couldn't control his waistband, could be blamed.
The old lady clutched her chest, unable to speak out, fortunately that child Yi Xing went to school today, otherwise she would know that her father has always missed her in his heart, how uncomfortable she would be.
She really wanted to scold him severely, what the **** was he thinking about in prison during these nine years, obviously before the accident, he was so responsible for taking care of Yi Xing who was still a baby.
"You should meet your daughter, that child looks exactly the same as Ji Xing, how could you be willing to resent such a well-behaved child."
Because of Su Aobai's mother Ji, the soft-hearted old lady couldn't swear any worse words.
"That's too bad, because she has exactly the same face as Ji Xing. Whenever I see her, I will think of her mother who was killed by her."
It's the perfect excuse, isn't it?
Su Aobai put the few hundred yuan bills on the table, then got up and left.
"I'm sorry, just treat it as me escaping."
I'm sorry, he really can't like that child, even though she has half of Ji Xing's blood on her body.
Su Aobai opened the door of the dean's office, and saw a little girl in a baggy school uniform standing at the door with tears streaming down her face.
Seeing him coming out, the little girl wiped her tears vigorously and looked at him bitterly, her eyes were red.
In a daze, Su Aobai seemed to see the shadow of another girl, but he just passed her and left without looking back.
The author has something to say:
Thanks to the little angels who voted for me or irrigated nutrient solution during 2021-06-26 23:53:25~2021-06-27 23:51:46~
Thanks to the little angels of the irrigation nutrient solution: Xin Qimeng 40 bottles; 2577144228 bottles; You should read books 20 bottles; Jinzhou, PLUTO, Xiaohuoer, Nancheng, sister is a cute star person 10 bottles; two donuts, COCO 5 bottles; 2 bottles of autumn diary;
Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!